Saturday, February 16, 2013

Boy, Girl and In-laws

The chemistry of relationships with in-laws is so complex that it successfully supports a whole segment of the Indian entertainment industry! This age-old problem is particularly at play in our society where a woman is expected to live with her in-laws at least for the first few years of marriage. These first few years are the crucial defining moments of the relationship between a woman and her in-laws.
Early in the marriage, interference by the in-laws can be seen by the woman as preventing the formation of a strong bond with her husband. It is thus important for newlyweds to establish clear emotional boundaries when it comes to dealing with in-laws.
This is easier said than done. In our culture mothers find it extremely difficult to let go of their sons and with the sons' best interests at heart, they can often come off as authoritative and overbearing. This situation is made worse by the woman's inherent trait of taking what the in-laws say very personally. The end result? A man torn between the two women he loves the most.
Men are even more astounded by the complexity of their wives' relationships with his parents because of the ease with which he can get along with his own in-laws.
In summary, both sets of parents need to keep out of their children's relationships, unless there is some sort of abuse going on, to allow them to form the strong bond which will ensure a strong marriage. The husbands need to understand the importance wives and mothers place on relationships, as a woman, and help both sides understand each other better. Wives have the immense responsibility of feeling empathy for the mother-in-law who is inevitably feeling like she is being replaced in her son's life.
By Raisaa Tashnova
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